(WIP) Suiren, Chapter Fourteen: [UNTITLED] Scene 4 – Incomplete Draft

-aaand now we return to our regularly scheduled programming! I hope somebody is enjoying all these sections written from the point of view of characters that i don’t normally focus on, because switching around like this is really hard! ;_; I may have mentioned/ranted about this before (since this is very often the reason for the long delays between sections), but i try hard to find an individual ‘voice’ for each character that is noticeably distinct from all of the other characters in the story, and i’m not always sure that i succeed… >_<;

Bah – anyhow, this section is a Work In Progress.  Anything written here is subject to change without notice, and while this initial part is pretty small, you probably wouldn’t believe how many times i’ve already re-written these paragraphs. Hopefully i’ll have more done soon, but this section may be posted in larger chunks than earlier sections, due to pacing issues; you have been warned…

Mail Bag: April 15, 2009…

It’s been a while since i was last able to respond to comments, so instead of flooding the site with my own comments, i’m just gonna put my responses to the currently pending ones here ^_^;… 

Pure Conjecture: Fusion and Crossover Fanfics…

Hmm… why is there a sprawling discussion of a hypothetical Naruto/Elfen Lied fusion fic in my story draft thread O_o;?

Oh wait – it looks like i started it; stupid me =_=;…

Anyhow, given that the topic of ‘crossover’ and ‘fusion’ stories has been near and dear to my heart since i started writing fanfiction, but it definitely doesn’t belong in a ‘Suiren’ thread, i’ve decided to just put up a separate ‘writing’ post for it. Any further discussion on this topic should go here…

(WIP) Suiren, Chapter Fourteen: [UNTITLED] Scene 3 – Complete Draft?

Alright, for real this time… maybe; i’m still struggling with the fact that i’m not very interested in Sasuke myself, so i’m not sure if i can write him in a way that’s interesting for anyone else.

[RANT] On top of that, this scene has also made me remember what a stupid technique the Chidori is. It’s noisy and obvious, it takes several seconds to activate, it consumes a huge amount of chakra, and you need to have the Sharingan just to do it without getting yourself killed – and this qualifies as an ‘assassination technique?’ 

I can see how it might be useful, if applied intelligently against opponents that 1) are already aware of you, and 2) have vastly superior armor-based defenses (and how does any of this sound like any sort of proper ‘assassination?’), but common sense was apparently something that Kakashi either neglected to or was unable to teach. The two times Sasuke used the Chidori against Gaara he either couldn’t see Gaara’s vital points or just didn’t bother to aim for them.

I am currently at a loss for how to explain this level of idiocy.  Also, if you can attack that fast, why even bother with the Chidori? Just stab them in the face! [/RANT] 

Ugh! Anyhow, enough ranting for now. I only have a tiny bit done at the moment, and i’m dunno if i’m happy with it, but hopefully now that i’ve started i’ll be able to beat Sasuke into submission a bit more easily. Yes, this is still going to be a Sasuke and Ino scene. Yes, it still follows the previous scene; in canon, Sasuke went off to play in the woods by himself after Kakashi left to go play with Itachi. Ino comes in later, because of what Sasuke heard in this version…

Finally, as the title suggests, this section is a Work In Progress. Plus, since this is a first draft of a scene with a character that i’m uncomfortable writing, anything you read here is even more likely to get the axe than normal. You have been warned!

[Edit - March 16, 2009: Got a few paragraphs done tonight but... ugh - there are reasons i try not to write angst. I need to hurry up and write a fun character into this scene before this gets out of hand -_-;...]

[Edit - March 17, 2009: Wherein somebody else gets the wrong idea. A bit more done today; almost ready for plot movement - yay!]

[No  Edit - March 18-21, 2009: Sorry for the delay; i haven't vanished again, i'm just deciding what to do. This section was mostly to shed a little light on Sasuke's thoughts, and i already know how it ends, but i haven't decided yet whether i want to do anything special with Ino or not. It's been a while since she had any direct interaction with Sasuke, and she deserves some love and screen time too ^_^...]

[ Edit - March 23, 2009: Wherein we see how, when Sasuke is trying to be cunning and manipulative, it's just not as cute as when Sakura does it;  a few edits to earlier text, as well as a small additon that gets the ball rolling for Sasuke's tragically doomed 'master plan.' Hopefully i'll be able to finish this part today, after lunch...]

[ Edit - March 23, 2009, #2: Still writing, but I hope i can do Ino justice here; as the Leaf genin kunoichi in Naruto go, she's probably the only one that has had her act together right from the start, and she doesn't take crap from anyone; not even Sasuke...]

[ Edit - March 29, 2009: A bit of a change of pace here, since this time i did a rather large 'rip out and replace' with the end bit. Technically, i would normally call the part inside the flower shop a 'new scene,' since now it switches to Ino's perspective, but this time i'm just going to keep going in this post. I'm still not sure i want to do it like this, but i think it's informative (and fun) to see what Ino's thinking feeling at this point - and to see how much difference there is between a social hermit crab like Sasuke and relatively well-adjusted girl like Ino, who is comfortable with herself and her relationships with nearly everyone else around her (with one glaring exception)... ]

[ Edit - April 5, 2009: Sneaky people having evasive conversations are difficult and annoying to write -_-;... ]

[ Edit - April 5, 2009, #2: I think that may be it for this section! Woo! ]

(WIP) Suiren, Chapter Fourteen: [UNTITLED] Scene 3 – An Annoying Placeholder…

Surprise, no writing here yet! I’m just sticking up this placeholder for now because i’m still trying to decide whether to write the next section from Sasuke’s point of view or Ino’s. I try to write in third-person limited mode rather than third-person omnicient, so the character i choose as the ‘focus’ for a particular section has a huge impact on the ‘flavor’ of the narrative and what i can and cannot portray.

I’m more comfortable with writing from Ino’s point of view, since i’ve already put in a lot of the head-against-the-wall frustration of figuring out how to portray her in earlier chapters.  I also like her more than i like Sasuke, which always helps. Sasuke, on the other hand, would probably have more interesting things going through his head in this part, since it comes right on the heels of the last scene and all the disturbing things that were said therein…

Bleah… anyhow, until i can work this thing out in my head, i’m going to be staring at a blank page grinding my teeth and pulling my hair out, which is just so much fun, i don’t know why someone hasn’t figured out a way to bottle this feeling and sell it; they could make a killing…

(WIP) Suiren, Chapter Fourteen: [UNTITLED] Scene 2.5 – A Brief Interlude…

There’s been some speculation about the events at the end of the last section, so while  i don’t have time to start writing the next section at this particular moment, i guess i can put up this little ‘bridge’ that goes between them. As usual, this is a Work In Progress, and thus subject to change upon my every fickle whim…

But anyhow, the show goes on! 

(WIP) Suiren, Chapter Fourteen: [UNTITLED] Scene 2 – Complete Draft

Well, i promised that i’d have more writing up by today… and dammit, i do!

I can see you back there! Put away the torches and the barbecue sauce! The pitchforks you can keep – but no using them unless i get really lazy again!

I’m not done yet today, either, but since i am posting this stuff as i write it and i have to put this down for a little bit right now, i might as well show you what i’ve got. Yes, i do procrastinate like a fiend! No, this scene isn’t final in any way, shape or form – even the characters involved might change, so don’t get too comfortable! It’s hard for me to write these guys, since they are (in my opinion) less interesting than Sakura-chan, and have distinctive traits that i’m less familiar with… well, actually, it might be fun to write this scene from Gai’s perspective, now that i think about it, but that would also be less edifying to the reader, since he’s probably the least involved character.

Anyhow, I’ll be back! I hope to have this (probably short) scene in some sort of finished form today, so i can move on to the next, which has Ino, Sasuke, and maybe even Kiba in it (i haven’t decided on that one yet either). What i’m trying to figure out for this scene is how much really i really need to show, and how much Asuma would actually care about Kakashi’s rapidly evolving (or degenerating?) team dynamics, beyond how Sakura’s behavior is affecting Ino.

P.S.: Yes this is that teashop, on that day; if you know what i’m talking about, then you can probably guess roughly how this scene ends…

[Edit - March 3, 2009: Added a teensy bit more. I'm still working on this, so I hope you didn't think i was just going to end this scene there...]

[Edit - March 5, 2009: A few more paragraphs done, and a few small edits. Hopefully not finished yet for today. In other news: threaded comments! Yay!]

[Edit - March 5, 2009 #2: A couple more paragraphs; more tomorrow. Now Kakashi really starts to look out of touch...]

[Edit - March 6, 2009: Only a little done today, but tomorrow's the weekend and the scene's almost finished!]

[Edit - March 8, 2009: A larger update this time, and maybe  i'll have time for another later today; this part gets kinda heavy with the expository internal monologue, but hopefully that isn't a bad thing since i finally get around to explaining one of Sakura's 'tricks'...]

[Edit - March 8, 2009 #2: Section's almost done! Just one tiny little bit left to write (with our two little black-and-red  'flies on the wall' for this whole fiasco.) Unfortnately, now i can't decide where i want to end the Asuma-Kakash-Gai portion of the scene. The two potential stopping points i see are in red type... ]

We Are Currently Experiencing Technical Difficulties…

Writer’s block can be defined as a ‘technical difficulty,’ can’t it? Ugh…

So the delay hasn’t been quite as… short as i’d expected it to be, but i’m currently working two-jobs-in-one (my old job, which they haven’t hired anyone else to fill yet, as well as my new job; isn’t being a white-collar drone fun?), and i haven’t been motivated to do anything with my free time involving thought in what seems like forever – but worry not! I’ve still got a whole six months before this becomes another year-long delay, which i promised not to subject you folks to; at least that’s a good thing, right? Right? I hope to get back on the ball soon, but if i haven’t got more writing up here within two weeks, you have my official sanction to form a disorderly mob and begin to hold ‘effigy burning’ parties…

In other (happier) news, i recently got some awesome fanart from Black-Petal:

Thank you so much! You can check out her gallery (which also includes a larger version of this pic) by clicking on the pic or going to http://black-petal.deviantart.com

(WIP) Suiren, Chapter Fourteen: [UNTITLED] Scene 1 – Draft 1

Aaaaaand the first section of chapter fourteen is complete- i think! Now we shall turn our all-seeing eye to what certain other ninja are doing with themselves on this fine day…

Unfortunately, the second section of this chapter may be slower in coming than the first, as i’m preparing to go on vacation (taken in small chunks over the next few weeks, interspersed with terrifyingly frenetic days of catch-up at work), so i may not have much time to write -_-;…

This isn’t going to be another year-long delay, though; this chapter is actually mostly planned out already (which is rarer for me than a lot of you might think O_o;). I just need to find the time and the enthusiasm to write all of the other characters that just happen to not be quite as much fun to write as Haruno Sakura…

At any rate, this is still only the first section of many, and very much a Work In Progress. The resident ex-monk might have a word or two to say about the ephemeral nature of all human experience, but needless to say, the illusion of permanence held by this little bit of storytelling is somewhat more tenuous than most…

 

(WIP) Suiren Fourteen: [UNTITLED] Scene 1 – Incomplete Draft

Well… now that we all know the perils of poking the rabid author, i suppose we can move on to something a bit less confusing and dramatic O_O;…

(And if you don’t understand the above statement, i’m not going to explain it…)

As with Wolves, i’m going to be posting scenes of chapter fourteen as i write them. Sometimes (as in this case) these scenes will be incomplete when they are first posted. Some of these scenes will be completely rewritten, reordered or even discarded before i’m finished with them, so this is all very much a Work In Progress. Take care not to get too attached to anything you dare to read here…

[Edit #1, 8/22/08 - Minor edits, small amount of new material]
[Edit #2, 8/22/08 - Small amount of new material]